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Find out how to help the right way

– I care about the problem of orphaned children, but I don’t know how I can help.
– More than 90,000 children are in institutional care in Ukraine — it’s terrible, but I believe that businesspeople and so on should be the ones to help.
– If I can’t take a child home, then it’s better to help financially: send gifts, bring sweets, buy toys.

Similar questions and comments about helping children are often heard. Nowadays, it is becoming clear to almost everyone that supporting children in difficult life situations is extremely necessary. However, not everyone understands that anyone can help, and it doesn’t require having great wealth.

A more pressing question arises — how to help properly? Help in a way that does no harm!

Understanding “proper help” comes with experience. We are happy to share the knowledge we have accumulated with you. After all, we believe that our common goal is genuine help for children.

So, let’s start with harmful help:

The stereotypical image of a child from an orphanage is a sad kid with big tear-filled eyes, abandoned by everyone. Naturally, this inspires a desire to pity them, cheer them up, bring loads of sweets, gifts, and so on. Well-meaning people come to boarding schools to organize celebrations there. The children are happy, they dance, sing, and share the sweets and toys brought to them. Everyone seems to be having fun. But what happens next? The children wait again for the arrival of “cheerful sponsors” and, let’s admit it, they get used to these constant celebrations.

There is an unofficial statistic — a child in an orphanage has about 100 celebrations a year, while a child from an ordinary family has only 10–15.

Now, about helpful support:

The need to have a family, a father and a mother, is one of the strongest needs of a child. Therefore, the best help for children is to prevent them from entering institutional care and to support families during difficult times. If it is not possible to return a child to their biological family, then adoption, creating a family-type children’s home, foster families, guardianship, or custodianship — all these forms of care can restore childhood.

To better understand how we can help a child who has ended up in an institution, we need to look at the graduates and their life outcomes. One of the main problems faced by graduates of children’s homes is difficulty adapting to independent life. The harsh statistics show that 40% of children’s home graduates lead an antisocial lifestyle, 40% enter a life of crime, 10% end their lives by suicide, and only 10% become full members of society. Why is this so?

Research studies show the following socio-psychological characteristics of children’s home graduates:

Inability to fill free time with leisure activities;
Inability to manage money wisely;
Poorly developed self-control and self-discipline;
Difficulties in establishing relationships with children from families;
Lack of long-term perspective;
Lack of developed social and daily living skills;
Limited outlook.

And this is primarily a consequence of the absence of an adult friend who could share their experience, guide and help with socialization, support in education, and so on.

Therefore, help can be provided in several ways:

Personal involvement in a child’s life (adoption, establishing a family-type children’s home, personal guardianship);

Mentorship;
Volunteering in a support group;
Financial support for projects aimed at helping children.